“Blessings to you,” said the nun. I’d had enough; I decided to leave. Hearing the choir attempting to sing, me dealing with panic, and curled up in a ball on the floor of the church, well, it was time. There was a loud rip as I attempted to lift myself onto the pew. The nuns smiled awkwardly at the breathtaking view of my exposed lace bustier. Only one didn’t react. She seemed sick with a virus or was maybe just old and frail.        

Being as smooth as possible on my way out, I tossed a twenty into the offering box.