Joy feels like exposure to the harshest elements.
In showing it you become a pawn
in the game of advantage
like taken of that is.
Allowing happiness to make an appearance,
well, that’s just a sin.
“Be humble, accept things with grace,” they said.
As they shushed my feelings out of jealousy.
Feeling like a kernel doubling in size,
well, that’s just ruinous.
“Let’s not have a grandiose, public display,” they said.
As they swatted my butt out of anger.
Having intensity acknowledged on the surface,
well, that’s just suicide.
“Behave yourself!” they said.
As they locked me away with a pious vengeance.
Where did it ever get me to give a voice
to what bubbles up happy tears and excitement?
Hide your feelings, stomp them down reactions was all I ever got.
Because no one really wanted to meet the real me.
Amazing write Susi. I love both poems. Although very heart breaking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
But so, so good to have it out. Thank you for your kind words, Carrie! ❤
LikeLike
💚
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent poem that resonates with me, Susi.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I’m happy that it touched you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, dear. You wrote it so well. Intense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Indira! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome, dear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
Covering … by Susi Bocks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can fully relate to this. See it happening so often…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always wonder if it had anything to do with the generation. My parents both went through the war in Germany. I’m thinking it impacted them severely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Women are expected to play imposed roles in some regressive setups. Expression of individuality is considered blasphemy. It can happen to employees in organisations too, but I can understand the need for a certain discipline and role-playing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I can see that too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My feelings that were stuffed were anger. It was a sin to be angry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was labeled crazy for feeling or expressing anger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And I was a sinner bound for hell. Sheesh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll see ya there! 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Party!! 🎉🔥🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woo hoo!!! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Hide your feelings, stomp them down” is a line that resonates with me. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Very profound feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lifetime of undoing damage.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And it does take a long time to undo the damage.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. 😢
LikeLike