I Have Questions

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now you are angry at god
are you angry at yourself
do you care we’ll lose you
feeling self-condemnation laying on your deathbed
regretting the deals with the devil
feeling sad you’re losing the battle
looking forward to the end yet
are your tears burning your face
ashamed you’re stinking of death now
you wanting smoke break time back
wishing you’d been smarter or stronger
was it worth the ugly cancer
was it worth losing all love
will you miss your dear family
was any of it worth it

surprised at how angry I am
you do know I am afraid

13 thoughts on “I Have Questions

  1. Susi, A lot of energy is released in anger and denial; long ritual of protesting and blaming. The tears dry up; the fears subdued; energy is sapped. Prostrated, we either give up or turn around. No longer a battlefield. We soon learn to accomodate, or live with the enemy. We pick our strength or courage somewhere, such as poetry. It’s a therapy that works with me, with a diagnosis of liver carcinoma (HCC) , but the biopsy, and repeated liver scan fail to prove. Funny that I consent to such a circuitry at this age. Maybe the fear is repackaged.

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  2. Faith is only believing what you’ve been told to believe by others that were told to believe, by people who would lie to your face to get you to believe only to get validation of their doubt. Nobody has seen anything! Never trust someone who will lie to you to make themselves a mentor. And rant away. Anyone that will love you over a belief will abandon you over belief!! True Dat! It’s a game you can win!!The key to understanding the mysteries is unbelief!! Not the other way around. Cntrl Alt Del

    Liked by 1 person

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