To all who choose the path of matrimony –
I know you want your dreams to come true, have your happiness magnified and gain comfort as a result. Let me be the first to say – hope you’ll be the first to achieve it.
So let me wish you a marriage as tumultuous as a 3 am trot to the bathroom – predictable and uneventful. And may you have a sex life as exciting as being the survivor of slasher movies – adrenaline surging and you come out on top.
Good luck, good love and let’s hope karma is bullshit.