Torn

Published on by Susi Bocks

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I feel the incessant battles of internal opposing forces.
My personal war.

Feelings clashing, emotions raging, peace alluding me.
Rational thoughts tip-toe in intermittently.

It’s a daily challenge,
every minute of every day.

Seeking tranquility in the chaos, hoping for a forced equilibrium.
But usually tossed about by my innate human nature.

Developing intentional maturity gains me some stability,
slow and teetering baby steps in the direction of wisdom.

Age and experience lend a hand, slowing down the urge to take up arms.
Fed up or just tired and weary?

The beginning of acceptance or true insight?
Not really sure.

The continual striving for harmony during this brief stint.
A life well-lived; I hope.

With death comes peace, ending a lifetime of struggle.
Balancing the scales.

I will not know it though.
Sure doesn’t seem fair.

27 thoughts on “Torn”

  1. Pingback: REBLOG: ‘Torn’ by Susi Bocks – The Skeptic's Kaddish 🇮🇱
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  4. People have way different life that you’d be surprised to know. They may not do good things only because they want to balance the sad in their lives. Every good and bad carries its own unique repercussions. Your living in chaos and wanting to take up arms is sad as hell and that’s why I sent my prayers to find peace. You can return these prayers with a “No thank you” note instead of not seeing sadness in your writing.

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    1. Not surprised at all! I only truly know my experience, the others are just a glimpse. Yet, I feel like I’ve gleaned a lot more than most. You may feel “taking up arms” is sad as hell, that’s ok. I just don’t agree. Sending prayers is something you choose to do because you “think” it may help. My thoughts on that subject are another matter entirely. 🙂

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      1. Who was asking you to agree to anything? If someone is hell bent upon becoming violent and taking up arms, I don’t think any prayers can help her either. Your “thinking” and writing is sad as hell.

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              3. You seem slow to get my point. By friends I did not mean actual friends, but rather virtual which sort of we already are via following each other’s blogs.

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        1. I think plenty of people have experienced this cycle of balancing the good and the bad. I don’t believe it means constant sadness, it just is the way life is. What’s sad in the end though is that that we won’t truly feel having reached the ultimate “balancing out” at our end. 🙂

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