Stabilized

sdfsdfsd

Pushed over the edge.
Waves of emotions coursing.
Tears flow unlocking the deep hurts.
Loud yells projected to match the pain.
Feelings challenged. Resolutions sought. This torture ends now.
Distancing from the anger, the fear and the abysmal. Letting it go.
Choosing peace, choosing harmony, choosing growth.
Deep relaxation and openness stage a presence.
Self-soothed in this self-connection.
Manifesting healing.

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Sharing

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Feeling and analyzing as inchoate thoughts rise in my mind.
I’m leaning into what arises.

Layering thoughts to complete some insight.
I’m crafting wisdom.

Nothing is random in expression.
I’m sharing what’s important.

Who does it touch?
I’m hoping it’s you.

Wanton

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I dive deep to know who I am.
It’s a loyal act of self-discovery and acceptance.
It’s never a bad thing.

I embrace who I am, sexually or otherwise.
I have a good opinion of myself!
I’m ok with me.

Being wanton is the opposite of humility,
just another word for immodesty.
Seems it truly is a good description of me.

US

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You got close to me in a way I’d never felt before.
Your sensual touch took my breath away.
Your fingers left a trail of goosebumps down every bit of my body.
You bathed me in love and surrounded me with comfort.
Your kisses left me weak and all in.

We played well for years.
We fought the world and won.
We ensured the next generation felt loved.
We made a home.
We had joy.

They looked in and saw happiness.
They were envious.
They felt we got love right.
They tried to catch our affection.
They wished they were us.

Then…

I was missing the love.
I felt bereft.
I ached for you.
I waited for you.
I wanted you still.

She insinuated herself into our love.
She was bright, shiny and new.
She was trouble.
She got in our way.
She destroyed us.

He saw my worth.
He proclaimed his desire.
He soothed my pain.
He eased my tears.
He was my friend.

It forced honesty.
It helped me find understanding.
It propelled me into a new reality.
It changed me.
It saved me.

Me, I got a lot of work to do.
Me, figuring things out.
Me, facing all my demons.
Me, fighting for myself.
Me, getting it all right.

Us, starting again.
Us, hurting all over to fix our love.
Us, going forward and taking two steps back.
Us, loving each other anyway.
Us, doing it together.

Big Dreams

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I Write Her on Patreon

In February, I decided to step into another medium – Patreon. To date, six followers have joined me! Not exactly enough to make a living from but it’s a start! 🙂 Before the ball can really get rolling, it needs a push. And by push, I mean YOU!

I want people (lotsa people!) to enjoy what I put out there into the universe. The comments I get here on I Write Her have been so encouraging. Many of you have consistently sent me messages of delight for the work I’ve published. Thank you so much for that! Your continual support of my writing is thrilling and encouraging. Could you take that praise one step further though?

If you can spare $1, $2 or $3 a month, you’ll be privy to writing that only patrons get to see! You’re special already, but this would be another way to show some additional love and support.

So what do you say? Would you please sign up as a patron? I’d be grateful and so very appreciative!

Peace!

Truth

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Sidney Erthal

It’s the place underneath the obvious.
I wanna go deep.

Time to overcome this unease.
I wanna be still.

To excise the superficial, project the truth.
I wanna be real.

To let the music carry me on its wings.
I wanna feel free.

Reveal the tenderness and compassion buried in my pain.
I wanna be me…

I wanna to be happy.

 

Lessons

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Life doing its unintentional thing can hurt. 
I weep, pull myself up and move on.

People’s forced recklessness do harm.
I weep inconsolably,
going deeper into my shell.
Feelings amplified in this echo chamber.
Can’t hear the external anymore.
I hide for a while,

working everything out inside.
And I emerge.

Lessons
I’ve had more than a few.