The internal battles – agitation, pain, fear – plague us.
It’s a thrashing within.
Dwelling in our emotions.
Acting out in our physical state.
Challenging our mental well-being.
Longing for a release or respite from discomfort.
It can sometimes happen, someday.
And if it does, it comes in the form of a favorable resolution.
Finally, there can be some ease.
Effort gets us to the other side of affliction.
And it makes us who we are.
pushing me hard.
Intense emotions wore me down again.
There you are, hidden in the magic.
The mystery of personhood waiting to evolve.
Wishing to be found, but stuck deep within.
Fear shutters the essence of being so much of the time.
It takes courage to push off the debilitating, oppressive hand of inadequacy.
Defeat gives us rage to rise up and out.
Show our true selves or remain comfortably nestled within?
My surroundings easily force me to breathe in the tranquility.
I’m seduced to engage with a nature free from annoyance.
My being is in harmony with the world.
Shhhhh listen to the quiet, you can hear it.
It’s like being gently enveloped by the serene.
All the memories of conflicts dissipate.
Bliss and colors are magnified to a brilliant degree.
All my senses breathe it in deep into the interior of my soul.
And then, I exhale contentment.
The injurious are on the prowl.
Instinctively my guard goes up.
Hurling words to pierce the psyche.
Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.
Another and another and another.
The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball.
Humiliation the game, the victor no one.
I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.
Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this!
Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.
I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.
I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.
Food, water, and health.
Give me a day at the beach.
Then I’ve got it all.
Glorious bronze sight.
My hungry mind’s fantasy.
Basking in her gaze.
I’m paying rent to occupy a space in your heart.
It’s a dark, dank unwelcoming place.
It costs me too much.
or release. Battling for air, or life?