Perception

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I’m the outsider
experiencing a creator’s in-that-moment masterpiece.

What do I know?
Nothing.

What do I feel?
Everything.

My companion’s insight enlightens me.

But it’s different than the maker’s crucial imagination.

I do enjoy their mental impression.

The work, the discussion, my immersion in this artistry…

Oh, it makes me feel alive!

I perceive an epiphany.

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Skilled Response Required

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I’ve always said humans are both – detrimentally stupid and utterly complicated.

The wide variety of situations we find ourselves in and the sheer volume of inappropriate choices we make, shows us time and time again we are. We depend on our feelings and instinct, and then stupidity inevitably makes an appearance. Full-on reaction mode.

The best stance to take in all complicated situations is to clearly and calmly reflect on what the hell occurred to create this current tizzy. Determining the next best, logical step to take would be most prudent.

It’s the guaranteed solution for less stupidity.

Complicated is a permanent state.

You’ll still need to buckle up.

Chemistry

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A simple look in my direction gave away his secret. The sensuality vibrating towards me with intent, but with a shy and curious hesitation. He was scared.

I was wanted.

Flirtation became our diurnal repetition.

But I wanted more than a game of frustration; each day ending unfulfilled.

Every encounter promised more friction.

The heat wasn’t just in our eyes.

Desire growing with each attempted exposure of natural impulse.

And then it happened.

An innocent, accidental touch; the catalyst to change our ways.

The electricity in the room was palpable.

Our bodies and our mouths finally and unequivocally declared YES!

His bold lips rushing towards mine dizzying me with an intensity of soft passion.

My world melted in that moment.

I found strength in his embrace, and a lusciousness hard to ignore.

His body dared me to explore what now was being offered openly for me to take.

My fingers caressed every curve, yearning to get beneath the fabric.

I pulled it all away, and he did the same.

Beholding our nakedness unleashed unprecedented joy in our expressions.

And more hunger for satisfaction.

I wanted my new lover to consume me completely.

He did.

As reality perished around me, I’m taken to the near-fatal edge of my existence.

Minds swirling together in ecstasy, limbs wet with our body’s mist.

Deep breath-taking, in your ears heart-pounding, a steady pressure-building sexual agitation.

All culminating in an unfathomable intensity.

It’s like we’re hydrogen and oxygen.

Next

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And in that moment of forced togetherness
I felt like the boy eating off the filth of a paper city
I realised I’m forcing the same trash through my heart
In craving to be someone’s priority

Vasvi Gupta – excerpt from Reversed Smiles

Find the specific details on why you loved this person, and it’s okay to find yourself still loving this person, but you have to see that these qualities do exist with a person who’s waiting for you, who’s even willing to give you more.

Let go of the fantasy. Loss is a good place to love yourself more and work on forgiving yourself more. 

Baby, don’t think that the time you spent with that person was lost for it has prepared you for this very moment, our conversation here.

Heartache may lead to the suicide of the mind but never of the soul.

 – excerpt from Every Woman

We’re not special, not like before.

I don’t fucking like you anymore.

Was before even all that? Was it even real?

You catapulted your heart and adoration away to another.

I transport back to emotions I was forced to leave behind. Aching for them.

Support is not commitment when your lover suffers subtle degrees of rejection.

Your focus was where it shouldn’t have been.

Layers of my strength came undone with your carelessness.

I was livid. I was lost.

I am lost, and still here.

Now what?

End of Bliss

 

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Love, becoming one.

Intensity together.

Then pain. Two again.

 

**The image prompted a reliving of my personal moment but click here for what inspired the artist to create this beautiful sculpture. Click here to see another perspective of the moving version.

 

Ever – Part 2

What inspires me to write could be a current situation and the positive or negative emotions it brings up, or I’m merely reflecting on memories, and the feelings recalled. Those moments when they strike are my material, so to speak; they are what I entertain you with.

I dislike Valentine’s Day. I’m sure many who read what I’m about to say will argue there is a beneficial aspect to it, but I can’t grasp anything remotely useful about it. To me, it’s a non-sensical celebration. There I said it, not ashamed either.

Hallmark, candy and chocolate stores, floral shops, restaurants, jewelry stores, hair salons, spas, and many other commercial establishments are making a killing off people who buy into this bogus day.  2018 saw approximately $19.7 billion in revenue. Yes, it is contributing to our capitalistic society by providing hold-in-your-hand products to alleged lovers of others, on this one particular day. But who wants to be loved just because someone demanded you do, and show it their way. Is this billion dollar business actually bringing anything of value by marketing this day as something compulsory when you love someone? I personally think no, it doesn’t.

My feeling is you should love your special someone if you have one of those, 365 days a year. One day of playing by the rules of industries profiting off you doesn’t make up for the other 364 days of how your person of affection wasn’t appreciated.

I especially don’t like that day on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore relationships that are genuine, but I don’t always see that on FB or in real life very often. I’ll applaud those who are mature and loving, whether they are intense or not. But the shallow ones, they leave me kind of meh.

What prompted me to post that 6-day story on my personal page was to my husband and also in direct response to the unextraordinary relationships I see playing out on FB. Obviously, all my FB friends would see it too. The point being, for my spouse,  I was trying to convey – in a quite unromantic gesture – “honey, this is the only marriage I will ever be in, ever again.” It wasn’t meant to be positive or negative, just a declaration of my reality.  I was being unromantic. It was my take on how romantic gestures don’t mean shit unless your intention coincides. A personal statement wrapped in social commentary.

Interestingly, those friends commenting had drawn a hard line on that experience; all of them. They took it to mean that marriage sucks, never doing it again. Who wouldn’t say it, if it did? I would understand the knee-jerk reaction if the situation was not a good one.

So naturally, I was curious (cause I’m always curious!) if more people on this larger platform read this, how would they interpret my 6-word story? What would their takeaway be? The Ever post hit the day after Valentine’s Day along with a request for readers to fill out a short poll about their reaction to the 6-word story.

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I’m sad that hardly anyone took the time to share their thoughts. Only a total of nine people took the time to respond. But regardless, the answers they provided showed overwhelmingly, a negative reply.

That made me go “Hmmmm.” 70% were jaded. We’re in love with love, but we’re seemingly unsatisfied. That’s sad to me. And again, makes me think that if we stop putting such emphasis on one day rather than what it takes to do every day, maybe relationships won’t lead to such negativity in the end?

It’s a thought.

What started as an internal demand to highlight the silliness (following the capitalistic bent and the over-the-top streaming of gushiness of this day), ended as another path to possibly understanding the humans in my world.

I like that.

Love to all, every day, for being what inspires me to be myself. 🙂